Ok. I found out that my brother had gotten engaged to his girlfriend and were going to be married in Texas where a lot of her family was. But when I asked my brother and his fiancee if my boyfriend could join me at the wedding he said no. I was very surprised and confused. I thought maybe they just want it to be a small ceremony, but then I thought about all of the others who were invited. I messaged him asking him why this would be a problem. After waiting for quite a while he and I finally talked on the phone for a good while where he proceeded to tell me that no black man would be welcome in his home, he does not believe in interracial relationships, I should have known and taken the warning he apparently gave at Christmas about getting into a relationship with a black man. Myself and my children would be welcome, but he would not. He said he had even spoken to many others about this who would be attending his wedding and they agreed with him. He went on about brown people and many other comments regarding human beings in a degraded way. I was crying by this point and he said my tears wouldn't change anything. I told him while I love him and always will I can not and will not support this belief and treatment of people. He had no idea what an amazing man my boyfriend was to me and my children and had continued to be even more so to this day. But simply because of the color of his skin he was rejected and thought not worthy. I couldn't and wouldn't support this. Even if it wasn't someone so close and special to me...nobody deserves to be treated like that.

 

I don't know if his mind set will ever change and I was shocked and appalled when those words came out of my brother's mouth. I was upset that my boyfriend could be treated so badly by my blood when they had never even met him. I was so sad that I didn't have something better to offer him. I told him everything that happened sobbing and in his arms. While he was shocked as well, he continued to be nothing but supportive and kind assuring me he was here for me and I am not like that. I barely speak to my brother to this day. I've continued to wish him a happy birthday and tell him I love him, but his one time response has been about it.

 

When I broke the news to my mom who is very narrow minded, stubborn and opinionated herself she sided with my brother and told me that we are family. After telling her so many times that I won't and can't support that belief and behavior and we all need to be loving, accepting and respectful of everyone regardless of their race, ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation, religious beliefs or spirituality. The argument went on and for so long I had put it on speakerphone so my boyfriend could at least see a little bit of what I had to go through. I realized family is not always or just blood. I had more support, acceptance, guidance and unconditional love presented by my made/chosen family I met in our time in Manhattan, KS. I was an emotional wreck especially after she told me I used to be a good person when I felt that I was doing the right thing and that everyone deserves love and acceptance and respect. I was not being brainwashed by my friends as she accused them, but rather I was learning how to love everyone.

 

I barely speak to my brother to this day. I've continued to wish him a happy birthday and tell him I love him, but his one time response has been about it. My relationship with my mom has been rough as well and my boyfriend, myself and my mom recently had a very emotional talk/argument, which resulted in the police being called as someone heard us yelling outside. All I wanted was for us to treat each other kindly, talk to each other kindly and with respect and we would be happy to be include each other in our lives. The following day some progress was made as she told my boyfriend and I that she would try.

 

This has been difficult, but I'm so fortunate to have such an amazing man in my life who has loved me and my children and is such a beautiful person. The only thing we can do is try our best to be loving, kind, accepting and respectful of everyone so we may not always agree, but we listen and show each other love and respect. Doing so would really help create a better place for all. Thank you my love for being by my side and my children and to all of my family who have supported and loved us no matter what.